Hectic Life

I know I haven't blogged in a while, things have been very crazy. I will say that things at home have gotten even more interesting in the last week or so, but they just might be working themselves out at the same time. My brother's base in Iraq was attacked the other night, and I've been having a pretty hard time with that. Work is getting more and more unreliable as a sanctuary away from home.

On a more positive note, I am back on my diet and plan to be under 200lbs by the time I go see my mom for her FIFTYth birthday. I have about 5 weeks and 40lbs to go to make that goal. Today is my last load day and tomorrow I crack down on myself. My dad has already told me that he'll be riding my ass about the diet this time. Good. I need that. I've just ordered a relaxation yoga DVD along with one for flexibility and one for relaxation and breathing for meditation. It's time to really start caring about and respecting myself more. I deserve to give myself that much.

School still seems so far away. I have until September 3rd (or so, depending on how many uniforms they have on campus) to lose as much weight as possible so I can re-order new sizes. I have struggled with my weight ever since I hit puberty. I was a very skinny kid, so much so that I was nicknamed "Chicken Legs' in grade school. After puberty, however, that all changed. The only time I ever got control of my weight was when I was in the Army, but I ended up gaining it all back when I got out. It's a huge point of self-consciousness for me. I haven't owned a bathing suit in I don't know how long. I don't wear shorts unless I'm sleeping in them. I've told myself many times over the years that I will get it under control and get back the body that I want. Sadly, I've failed time after time. Not this time.