The last couple months in a nutshell

I transferred to the Natomas World Market about a month or so ago, and immediately following that, I moved up here. I found a roommate on craigslist. I live with a guy and a girl, and they are both pretty cool, if not the cleanest of the bunch, but hey, neither am I all the time. Things as far as work and the roommates have been pretty good.

I started school on Sept. 27th, and so far it's AMAZING. I can't even put into words what it feels like to FINALLY be here. I've met some very cool people so far. Lauren matches my wit and sarcasm to a tee. She's my sarcastic soul mate. Tosha is totally sweet. Jimmy is my boy! He went through some hard stuff today. It was the first time I've ever seen him without a smile on his face, and a hug for anyone who wanted it. We got our knife kits on Monday and have spent the week learning to use them. We had our first test the day before yesterday, and I missed only one question. When Chef passed out the progress reports yesterday, she announced that I had the highest grade in the class, and if it wasn't for that one point I missed, I would have a 100% in the class. She didn't figure the extra credit Bio we did, so really, it IS over 100%. Semantics, I know. Another girl, Jen, had to retake the test - luckily Chef let her, I guess she accidentally skipped a question so that her answers were off - when she got her test results back today she found out that she only missed one as well, giving her the same grade as mine. I'm SO happy for her. Chef didn't announce her achievement the way she did mine, though. I wish she had. It would have been nice for Jen to receive that same feeling. I hope she's proud of her self at any rate.

We have our second test tomorrow; Weights and Measurements and Conversions. I've got this one in the bag! I've been going over the Weights and Measurements for the last two days, and feel very comfortable with them. The conversions are REALLY simple once you get the hang of them.

This whole last month has been very bittersweet. I'm LOVING my new life, and am genuinely happy for the first time in a while. Things have been amazing. However, I really miss my dad and Makenna. My dad has been having a hard time with the fact that I'm gone, and I don't blame him. It was a horrible situation that brought us to this point. I understand that I'm far too old to live with my father, but we get along so well, and he's the best guy in my life. I loved being able to spend more time with him in the past year than I have in the last 10 combined. Makenna is doing great, but I know she had a hard time with the change as well. I just hope she keeps her head down, nose clean, and is able to get out on her own soon, too.

I miss my mother like crazy, too. I hate that I'm even farther from her, my sister, and Santa Cruz as a whole now. When I moved back to Santa Cruz, from Chico, I was SO happy to be home. My beach was RIGHT THERE. Then, when I moved to my dad's, it got a little farther, but not unmanageably so. Now, however, I'm almost as far away as when I was in Chico. It's really hard to be this far from my mom when our relationship is the strongest it's been in about 10 years. I value what her and I have been able to develop in the last year, and hate to see that we wont be able to spend as much time together now. George is coming home on Dec 1st, and I'm so excited that my mom will finally have him home. It will be so great for the both of them. They both deserve it.

My niece, Angela, turned 1 on Sept 20th. My sister sent out an email about a week and half prior to then to announce that she would be having a birthday party for her daughter. I fought with myself over and over about whether I would attend, or not. I wanted to, but wasn't sure if I'd be able to afford the gas, plus it's three hours each way. My mother and I were texting one night when she told me that Brenda - my sister - was very upset and cried to her on the phone the night before. I guess that my mother was the only one from our side of the family that had said she would be attending. My grandparents had a previous engagement. My aunt and uncle weren't able to attend either. When my sister called my dad a few days before the party, my dad said that he couldn't be notified only a couple days before. This is understandable because he gets weird shifts at work. He can go from 10am - 10pm for a few weeks, then be switched to 12pm to 2:30am. It's very hard for him to plan things when he's testing. When my sister told him about the email she had sent, he said that he hadn't been to his account in a while. Again, understandable since when he's not working, or driving the hour and a half each way, he's sleeping. I wasn't sure how I felt until Brenda told me that when she had called, my step mom answered the phone. Brenda asked if they got the email, and my step mom said YES, but that my dad had to work and wouldn't be able to attend. This really upset me because I wondered when exactly she received the email. If it was when Brenda sent it, she would have had plenty of time to inform my dad so he could make a decision about attending. This isn't the first time things like this have happened, and though I would like to say more, proper decorum prevents me. I will, instead, gracefully end this tale with the fact that after hearing that my sister's heart was broken, I went to the party. She was surprised and delighted. I got to see my niece turn one. Happy ending for all.

I'm still working on losing weight. I bought a cruiser bike to ride around to work and school. Hopefully the rain doesn't prevent me from doing so, otherwise I'll have to wait a couple of months. We'll see what happens.

Now, time to clean up my book bag, take a shower, and get to bed.

School bright and early!

Bad Me

I know I haven't written in about 2 months, but things have been so hectic. I didn't get that job downtown, but I ended up transfering and moving to Sacramento a few weeks before school started. Things have been great since I moved. I'll have to write a more in depth entry today or tomorrow, but right now, time to study my veggie cuts!

Eat Pray Love

Yesterday was an AMAZING day!!! I woke up feeling very alive and happy for the first time in a while. I got up, showered, got ready, and left for more job hunting. The first place I went was Paragary's downtown. They closed the restaurant and a new owner took over. They're restaffing the place, so I figured I would put in an application. I filled out my app and waited to speak to the Sous Chef. Ok, first off, SUPER CUTE!!! He looks over my application and resume, and seems kind of wary of me. I told him that about school starting at the end of September, and while I have no official restaurant experience, it's a huge passion of mine, and I just need one person to give me a chance, so I can show them what I've got.

He told me that he thought his kitchen roster might be full. He then looked around for a second and said that he would see who else he got in that day, and that he might be able to find a spot for me on his prep line.

What???

He told me to expect a call from him later this week to go over Operating Procedures.

Seriously???

This might be it. I don't even know what to say. I never even asked what the new restaurant was going to be, or the kind of cuisine it was going to offer. I was in a state of awe walking out of there. I called my bestie and then my mom. I have such an amazing feeling about this.

I finished putting in the apps that I had to do that day, just in case, and took myself to the movies. Inception is one of the most amazing movies I've ever seen. Totally blew my mind.

I'm going to stop here and rewind a bit. I need to acknowledge the reason for this emotional and spiritual shift I have discovered in myself the last few days.

About a month ago (or whenever) I started seeing previews for a particular movie that has one of my favorite actresses in it. The preview alone is powerful and moving. When I learned that the story is a true story based on a book by the person that experienced the story, I had to read it. I downloaded the audiobook, read by the author herself, and for the last 2 days have been glued to my iPod. I have never been so moved and touched by a book. This book is doing things to me no other book has ever done. It is so powerful to me. It's almost as if she's writing from within me. The things she says, feels, and thinks almost mirror my own. I feel that this woman is almost my literary soulmate, that she wrote this book specifically for me to read right here, right now. Eat Pray Love is exactly what I've been needing in my life. It's what has finally given me the kick. The spark. The fire.

Thank you Liz Gilbert.

After I finish listening to it, I will be buying the paperback copy so I can better write what exactly this book is doing to me. It's unexplainable (sorry Liz, I know you hate that description).

I have been so motivated, positive, and exhilirated the last few days. It's like I can do anything. I CAN do anything. She has shown me a part of myself I never thought to meet. I like this new person very much, and can't wait to get to know her even better.

Now, back to Bali.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Things have been very stressful the last couple of weeks. I felt as though I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and I don't know what I would have found at the end of it. I had a great talk with my dad and step-mom last night that helped a LOT. I told her everything that I've been thinking and feeling. It really helped to get everything out in the open. I learned some things that greatly explain why she's been the way she has. It really opened my eyes. I know she cares, it just hard to see that when it seems as though her and grandma team up and find things to get pissed at me about. I have a different outlook now. Grandma is a different story. She is hypersensitive to me right now, and is basically looking for mess ups to complain to mom about. What I need to focus on right now is doing right by my step-mom. She went to bat for me, and, even though I didn't know about any of that until last night, she deserves better than she's been getting from me. Whatever happens with grandma, happens. I can't control anyone, but me. I can't control anyone's thoughts, but my own. I can't control anyone's feelings, but mine. That's where I'm going to start. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Mom and I are on the same page now, and we've worked a lot of things out. Now is the time to prove to her that I am better than I have been; that I do have what it takes to make it. It's time to prove to EVERYONE that I am NOT a waste of skin. If grandma allows herself to be enlightened in the process, great, but I can't focus on making her happy. I need to focus on making me happy. Only I can make my own dreams come true.

Work

I have been tirelessly looking for a job in the restaurant industry. Being that I'll be going to a Culinary school, I figure that it would be in my best interest to gain some practical field experience. The only problem here is that I have NO previous restaurant experience which makes employers wary to hire me. I made a special cover letter for restaurant applications that basically says 'WAIT! Don't throw my application out. Just give me a chance.' I hope it works. I can't survive on minimum wage with only 8 hours a week anymore. Cross your fingers for me.

Weight-In

Even though I actually weigh myself everyday, I will only update everyone once a week. I lost 7.2lbs this last week. I had hoped for more, but it happens. Hopefully this next week will be just as good, if not better.

About the Diet

I've had some people ask about my diet and whether it's safe or not. Here is the link to the free PDF manuscript written by the Dr. that founded the program. If there are any other questions, feel free to ask.

http://hcgdietinfo.com/HCG_Diet_Simeons_Manuscript.htm