Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Things have been very stressful the last couple of weeks. I felt as though I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and I don't know what I would have found at the end of it. I had a great talk with my dad and step-mom last night that helped a LOT. I told her everything that I've been thinking and feeling. It really helped to get everything out in the open. I learned some things that greatly explain why she's been the way she has. It really opened my eyes. I know she cares, it just hard to see that when it seems as though her and grandma team up and find things to get pissed at me about. I have a different outlook now. Grandma is a different story. She is hypersensitive to me right now, and is basically looking for mess ups to complain to mom about. What I need to focus on right now is doing right by my step-mom. She went to bat for me, and, even though I didn't know about any of that until last night, she deserves better than she's been getting from me. Whatever happens with grandma, happens. I can't control anyone, but me. I can't control anyone's thoughts, but my own. I can't control anyone's feelings, but mine. That's where I'm going to start. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Mom and I are on the same page now, and we've worked a lot of things out. Now is the time to prove to her that I am better than I have been; that I do have what it takes to make it. It's time to prove to EVERYONE that I am NOT a waste of skin. If grandma allows herself to be enlightened in the process, great, but I can't focus on making her happy. I need to focus on making me happy. Only I can make my own dreams come true.